Dealing With Negative Emotions After Quitting Drinking
6 Tips From a Recovery Coach
By Michael Osborne, CADC II
Long-term recovery from any addiction often means building a new toolkit for dealing with daily challenges. And for the newly sober, some of the most overwhelming can be the negative thoughts and emotions that pop up as we go through our lives. These feelings are inevitable, but for many people sobriety is the first time in years they’ve been dealing with such emotions without alcohol.
If you’re in recovery, here are some effective ways to manage negative thoughts and emotions, get a handle on these powerful drinking triggers, and maintain your progress over time.
Negative Emotions In Recovery
Everyone experiences negative feelings from time to time, but challenging thoughts and emotions can be especially problematic when recovering from alcohol use disorder (AUD).
Anger, sadness, guilt, shame, feeling unappreciated, feeling frustrated: All are common experiences in recovery, and all can be strong triggers to drink. Each can also be exacerbated by any slip-ups that occur in recovery, which can lead to a difficult cycle. It’s important to have effective ways of breaking this loop, or preventing it from starting in the first place.
There is a saying that we can’t control things that happen to us, but we can learn to control our reactions to those things, and how the resulting emotions are managed. The recovery process will be different for each person, and some strategies will work better than others, but here are some useful tips for managing negative emotions and thoughts as they come up.
Tips For Managing Negative Thoughts and Emotions
1. Don’t try to suppress the emotions — allow them to happen.
Often, trying to suppress an emotion can actually cause more challenges, because that emotion or thought is not being actively managed. Keeping your emotions where you can see them, and learning to live with them, can give you a lot more agency.
2. Consider cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
This form of therapy, which helps people recognize and replace harmful thinking patterns, can be especially useful in recovery from AUD, since drinking triggers and negative thoughts are often linked together.
3. Find consistent, positive support.
Having at least one healthy, positive support person in your life is vital to success, even if it just means having someone you can vent to.
4. Practice consistent self-care and healthy habits.
The more you practice healthy self-care, the better you’ll be able to handle “whatever life throws at you” — and the resulting thoughts and emotions that arise. Think of self-care as preparing your mind and body for when inevitable stressful situations occur.
5. Manage underlying mental health challenges.
Trying to manage AUD and not managing challenges such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc. can be like trying to place a band aid on a severed limb. The better you care for any underlying mental health challenges, the easier it will be to manage AUD.
6. Identify emotions and thoughts that are challenging for you, personally.
Identifying the thoughts and emotions that challenge you most creates the opportunity to learn which strategies work best in response, and build new habits. Similarly to alcohol cravings, most thoughts and emotions will subside after a few minutes or more of a healthy distraction. Develop a plan for when certain feelings arise, and stick with it.
Remember that the goal is not to totally eliminate all negative thoughts or emotions, but to be able to minimize their effect on your recovery. This may seem intimidating at first, but it can happen over time with practice and commitment to wellness.
If you’re struggling with negative emotions and thoughts in recovery, you’re certainly not alone, and it never hurts to look for some help. Finding a therapist you trust can be very useful. And if you’re looking for support for AUD more generally, telehealth programs like Ria include online coaching meetings to help you learn strategies for difficult emotions and other common triggers. We’re here whenever you need us.
